Before we start, how 'bout I give you the moral of the story:
MORAL: Never, and I mean NEVER, put hair clippers in the hands of a physically sick and exhausted mother. Results could be detrimental to child's welfare or at very least, appearance.
Thankfully, our story has a relatively happy ending. But Benjamin won't be going out without a snug hat on for a while.
OK, so I have cut Ben's hair with clippers before. I had a quick tutoring session with my friend (Holly, my own poor results are no reflection on your wonderful clipping skills) and had cut Ben's hair a couple of times on my own. The results were never satisfactory and me being the typical egotistical human being that I am, I blamed it on the clippers. See they were hand-me-downs and they came to me with only 2 of the original 8 settings. I figured the friend who gave them to me (Norah, this is no reflection on the value of your hand-me-downs, for which I daily am grateful!) only needed those two settings and got rid of the rest. But I'm getting bogged down in details. To the point, when I cut his hair before, I could never get it quite short enough. Blame put to clippers and moved on.
Then came the sleep-deprived, 8-days-into-a-bad-virus day. Why did I choose this day? I guess I felt like I needed some control over something in my world and I figured the length of Benjamin's hair was a good place to start. Bad idea.
So the good news of the story is that the clippers actually do cut short. REALLY short. The bad news is that I found this out by leaving a bald spot (off center, of course) on the back of Ben's head. Then what do I do? Try to fix it. Really bad idea.
In tears, (did I mention I was sleep-deprived?) I turn to my husband for help. He volunteers, quite cheerfully I might add, to take him to a barber and get the job finished up...tomorrow. To which I reply, I can't take him out tonight like this! *sniff, sniff*. After nine years of marriage, no one can say he doesn't know how to react to my tears: Him, Did I say tomorrow? I'll do it today.
He ends up taking him to his own barber, who asks "Who in the world did this?!" *shame*
He fits in quite well here, where ultra short hair is the preference. So all's well that ends well.